Really Bad Day

I am having a really really bad day.

It started off okay. I skipped doing my cardio today, but I was tired. I didn't sleep well. Some rather lame personal issues wouldn't let me sleep. You know, those things that seem really important and horrible right now...but in a year will seem like nothing. It involves a man. So now you understand.

So skipping the gym isn't that big of a deal, but then my mom wanted to take me out to breakfast. Also, not necessarily a bad thing, but it was a buffet. I cannot go to buffets anymore. There just has to be a new rule for my life that I can't go to buffets. Especially when I feel bad/am on my period/am hiding my feelings/have a bad day at work/alt. etc. Whenever any of those things happen I need to be strapped to a chair with rope and left to struggle. Do not feed the animals.

So I went crazy at the buffet. I love breakfast food. It was all carbs. It was disgusting. Easily 2000 calories. Then I came to work, had some black coffee and a damn chocolate cupcake. Then, I had a lunch meeting, where I should have ordered a water and left it at that. Instead, at the urging of the people I was meeting, I ordered a green chili burrito with beans. sigh. and I ate it. With chips and salsa. !!!

Now I want to keel over and give up. I'm 160 lbs, which is close to 170, then I'm almost 190 and then I'm right back to 226.

I know what to eat. I know when to eat. I know how to exercise. I know how to lose weight. Why am I not doing it? What is stopping me from achieving my goals? Why do I lose my drive so easily?

I'm nervous about moving away. I'm nervous about starting school. I'm nervous about being alone in a new place. I'm terrified of becoming fat again. I promised myself I'd never be over 160 again, and here I am knocking on 161. These are the stresses in my life. I know they are small potatoes compared to other people. But this is what I'm dealing with. I'm toying with the idea of a thirty day challenge. Would anyone like to take me up on this?