I weighed in at 156 today!! Which means I'm down 4 lbs. Now I know I've been working out like a mad woman, but I have a feeling most of this weight loss is water related. But no matter! It makes me feel great to be in the 150's again.
I made some really tough decisions over the past week. My friend said that I called him when I was drunk and said really mean things to him. I told him that I was sorry, but that I really didn't remember calling him. See, sometimes I drink until I blackout. This, of course, is a serious issue. I talked to another friend and he said that in the past he felt that I had a serious drinking issue. I blame most of my horrific weight gain on binge drinking, which led to binge eating. My brother says, although I'm terrifically fun when drunk at a party, I lose all inhibitions, and that can be worrisome. So I'm recognizing that I have a problem with alcohol and I need to seek help or curb my habit in some way. A new friend of mine just told me that he worries about me.
The longest I have been sober is 4 months. It was last year when I was dieting. My life really felt good; I was in control of so much. Work was productive and I felt like I was excelling. I really didn't hang out with any of my friends though. Most of my friends drink heavily. We tend to travel in packs. I went sober to my friends' wedding. Normally, I would "pre-game" for a function like that. (ie, have two or three drinks before the wedding).
But this is a new life, and if I'm hurting the people that care about me then it is not worth it. I want to be able someday to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or go to a baseball game and have a couple of beers without it turning to an all night binge drinking session. It is unbecoming of a lady. If I truly wish to someday be a mother and a wife to someone, I cannot let a destructive habit come between me and that happiness. If I lost weight for my future children, then I can certainly maintain my sobriety for them.
I have three events this weekend with friends. I've already enlisted my best gay to be my date and encourage me to be sober. Wish me luck.
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4 comments:
Wow...you look so much younger
thanks. I'll be 29 in October.
CONGRATS! That's awesome! WAter weight or not... It's all weightloss. :) It's hard not to drink when everyone around you is drinking. maybe that will also be a good thing for getting out of Phx. :) LOL New place, new school... new you. :) Maybe meeting a bunch of people who know you as a Light or no drinker gal, depsite their drinking will help. :) I've been lucky that all my friends have without trying been on the same path and road that i have been on over the years. it didn't start that way, but I guess we've been hanging out long enough... we've all ended up in the same place. Even though our goals are different, etc...It's been a HUGe support and they've all jumped on board for doing what they can to help me change my life. Which is HUGE help. Anyhow... i digress... the point is. Change is hard when you've got no one there saying, hey! We support you... and therefore will do what we can to physically help you (not just talk the talk).
At least you recognize the changes you need to make and now you just have to summon up the courage to go forth with ALL of them. :) Good luck!
I gave up ALL alcohol 7/5/08. You can do it. It won't be easy, but it's probably one of the very best things you can EVER do for yourself, and your future.
:: hugs ::
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